I got on my knees and asked the lord to help me stay calm and be gentle with my words and even face expressions, my daughters were just being children. I, on the other hand was being a not so loving mom. You see when I woke up, I did not praise the lord as I usually did. The night before I went to sleep at midnight and that caused me to start a cycle of bad attitude towards the next day. I am the type of human who needs 8 hours of sleep, I require worship to my Lord to function the rest of my day. I’m THAT needing of God. Maybe some of you think it’s crazy but ask my husband who’s known me more than anyone, I’m sure he appreciates the days I make God first.
Anyway, so the day started rushed and we had just come back from camping so I had Mt. Hood size laundry piles and dishes. Right from the moment I opened my eyes I was in a terrible mood. I made my husband breakfast and proceeded to rush all morning and my anger grew seeing the mess. My patience was far from me and everyone could feel it and see it. I went to the restroom and took a breath and remembered a bible verse: “The wise woman builds her home but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands, Proverbs 14:1”, my heart shifted and I KNEW I needed to stop and spend time with God. I wen’t upstairs and had time to talk to my Father in heaven. I felt so at peace and put together. In my heart I felt to Stop all I was doing, pack our bags and leave. When I felt this I told myself ” we JUST got back from camping, why do I need to leave?”. You see I’m a firm believer in keeping a house clean, and when this doesn’t happen I almost instantly lose control and start yelling (told you I wasn’t perfect) YIKES! If my house is clean I purposely find chores so that I keep busy, so busy I forget my daughters are my Ministry, not adding to a list that’s done. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that the house being clean is definitely a good example for my daughters but I was making it greater than my calling to be with my daughters. If you know me, you know the ONLY way to get to my heart is with God’s word or the holy spirits convictions. I’ve learned through the years that when the Holy Spirit tells me to do something I better do it.
So I took a deep breath (I’m sure I took like a million) approached my daughters and apologized to them for my attitude. There is something so powerful about apologizing to your children. To show that even adults (especially) need Jesus, adults are NOT perfect and when they are adults to expect to be human. So they gave me a hug and said I was the best mom, I did not feel that way. But I started to see why Jesus said we must be like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. I embraced them and packed our backpacks, made lunch in baggies and left to the park. We walked a mile and a half and had a blast.
While at the park we played and took books to read. I was reading the bible and this just melted me and I knew that God was trying with my heart. Psalm 127:3-4 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
It was a beautiful day and my girls and I were frustrated. We had to much going on that was so unnecessary, things that could be left a side if we wanted them to be. I found myself anxious and at every world my daughters spoke I did not use gentleness to respond. Ask the lord to guide your heart everyday. You’ll notice the difference and so will your family. This world teaches mom’s that they need “girl time” to unwind and need it more offten that they are with their kids. That children get in the way of fun. As godly women we need to understand that “girl time” can also be as simple as spending time with the lord. Personally I have a handful of Godly woman I love to spend time with, but even that isn’t more than my calling as a mother and wife. God will calm you not substances. Titus 2:3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good. He will give peace not going to inappropriate places to relax. Proverbs 14:16 One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. He will remind you what your calling is, not the world. Titus 2:5 To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
It is so hard to hear a lot of this. Many don’t agree and I’ll tell you that at 16 married and with a baby on the way everything I just posted I hated to hear. Even when I was 19 and with two babys I still struggled to accept. Why? Because I didn’t have a fear for the lord or jealousy for his word. It hurt to hear it. So I didn’t accept it. I call out to you who read this to soften your hearts to God’s word. To study the role of mothers and wives. To ask the Holy Spirit to guide your days. And to lastly pray for God to give you a strong mind so that no matter who or what comes you know you’ve made up your mind to follow Jesus and to do his will as a mother. Don’t let anything but God be above your calling at home. If it’s from the lord it will bring peace. He is amazing and knows why he called to such a HARD accepting role.