This blog is based on MY personal convictions as a Christian wife and mother, what I have learned from the convictions and the benefits from being obedient to those convictions. As embarrassed as I am to post this, I’m being 100% transparent and honest. So here it goes.
I was raised by a very modest women who rarely ever wore make up and who, for the first time dyed her hair at the age of 35. My mom wore dresses, heels, mascara and has long curly iron black hair that to this day continues to confuse people with a wig haha. Having my mother as model of what modesty was, helped me to understand true beauty in Christ. Not only because of her heart, or because I saw her help those in need but because the way she dressed and presented herself I believe glorified the Lord. As I grew up she made sure to teach us that.
This is my mom 25 years later. Still modestly dressing even though her hair dresser once said to her “Why don’t you cut your hair, dye it, put on make up! Don’t you want your grandchildren to say my grandma is so sexy and modern, don’t you?” My mom looked at her and said “I’d rather look like a modest grandmother than to look like a stupid old lady”(Can you see where I got the spice?) 😉
This is me.. two years ago. For ME personally after I got marriage at 16, I thought I was smart and decided to forget all my mothers examples and teachings because she was “old school” and “religious” only to find out the hard way, being confronted by the Holy Spirit later in life when I came to The Lord’s feet and this was one of the first things that God was calling me to change. Why is it that I always have to learn the hard way? I fought this conviction for a few years before I felt God really get to me in a way I’ll never forget. Sit down children and listen, * clears throat*…
I was dressed like this one day when I went to a friend’s event and in the crowd, I spotted someone I knew. My first reaction was to hide, not because of any conflict in our past but because I felt naked. This reminded me of when Adam and Eve knew they did wrong and the bible says they “hid” with leaves. Genesis 3:7. Why was I hiding if I thought the way I was dressed wasn’t bad? Why did I feel naked? All of a sudden I realized. I felt naked in front of God. I know it sounds crazy. I looked over at my husband and I felt even worse. Men were looking at me, women were staring and I think for the first time I felt ashamed. The whole room was spinning in my head and my daughters were just watching me. I felt so sad for my family. My heart hurt to know that I , once again had a lesson to learn and hoping it wasn’t to late to be a Godly example to my girls, to my newly converted husband. The piercings I had also came in bundled with this conviction.
I know some women (Christian) might see this and say “what’s wrong with it?”. Besides the fact that I was showing ALL of my legs and cleavage. I was not respecting my husband and I was not being an example to my daughters or new men believers who I might of caused to stumble or new converted women who were struggling with this very conviction but found me as an excuse as to why it was OK since I was “Christian” too. This is being a stumbling block.
You might ask yourself how a person like me ended up dressing this way when I had a great example? One word: Rebellion. We’re all sinful by nature and need Jesus to teach us and give us a new life in him. I’d say it’s almost impossible to be Christian and not change as a person. Spirituality, mentally and yes, physically.
This world teaches us that feeling sexy, is a MUST. The sad thing is, like me, many “Christian” women fall in to this lie. Let’s look at the definition:
•concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risque.
•sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality.
So basically this is what we are stating when we dress “sexy” this is the message we are sending. When God has called us to dress modestly and Proverbs 6-8 talks about this wicked woman and she’s described as “seductive” and “sexually interesting” (defines sexy) and the author’s mother is giving him advise to stay away from her. Not saying you’re wicked if you dress sexy… but as a woman of God, you might want to pray about this. Just remember you might not like the answer.
Now let’s look at Modesty: mod·es·ty
•synonyms: self-effacement, humility, unpretentious
•the quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level
•behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.
Can we see the difference? This pretty much described the Proverbs 31 women, the Titus women and the opposite of Proverbs 6-8 woman.
Like many parts of my life, rebellion plays a huge part in reason’s why the Holy Spirit has had to teach me many things and continues to teach me by God’s grace.
I have to say, having an example at home is so vital for your children, both male and female. We must lead by example and stop being hypocrites. It was so hard for me to face the reality that, who I was, my daughters would have a big chance of becoming. At that point In my life, I wouldn’t like my daughters to ever remember who I was. How I express myself was most likely how my daughters one day would express themselves. That the short dresses I wore were an example saying that it was OK to show your body as if it wasn’t the temple of the Holy Spirit and disrespect your husband.
1 Timothy 2: 10 And the women should be the same way, quiet and sensible in manner and clothing. Christian women should be noticed for being kind and good, not for the way they fix their hair or because of their jewels or fancy clothes.
“I’ts just make up”, “It’s just a dress”. I’ve heard that and used it before in the past many times as a way to forget a conviction I was to mad to accept.
It is so much more than we think ladies. And I know some women say that being “Godly” means looking like this:
Or like this:
This is not true because the Proverbs 31 women dressed herself very well Proverbs 31:22, we can’t be so extreme, and every conviction has its details of what exactly it is. For me it wasn’t so much my make up than it was my sexual way of dressing. I know for one of my sisters it was her make up more than her dressing yet my other sister was much wiser and learned from both our mistakes and restrained herself from over doing both.
Me saying anyone who wear the clothes I think are bad are worse than me, may also leads me to sin against God thinking I am “better” because I cover from head to toe being prideful about being “humble”. We must be careful.
I suppose I can add it all up by saying that this conviction has bought amazing benefits to not only my spiritual life and relationship with God BUT in my family. My husband confesses to this conviction as a gift since I now present myself as a women with a sensitivity to God’s word, I help lead a group who is predominantly females my age who might see me as an example. My daughters when they have an option they choose modest clothes. I hope as they grow they keep true to this, but if they have to go through the same thing as me for them to learn, let it be. My job is to teach, intervene when they try to get away with it and be an example.
See, dressing modestly isn’t ugly or boring. My middle sister is 20 (blue collar) and little sister is 16 (boots) and they have learned through conviction and example how to dress. Let me tell you it was’t all an easy process we all had different reasons for dressing the way we did and our convictions were at different times of our life’s but ultimately we can agree that it was a blessing and were thankful for the example we had growing up and for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
This is a picture of us Nelson/ Tovar girls. I’m so proud of how far we have come with God’s help and I can’t wait to see what else God calls us to do because if it’s from God nothing but good things can come from it. The process is rough, hard to accept but so rewarding.