So do you guys remember last month I wrote a blog about Forgiving . And I asked you all to pray for me.
I have to first thank you all for your prayers and for reading my blog on it. With that being said, I want to share with you what happened.
Unfortunately the person that was on our hearts, declined to fix anything with us. My heart hurts but I also understand. I’ve noticed that forgiving is such a HARD thing to do. Even if you’re not at fault. In this situation, we had some fault like not asking to meet up earlier in hopes to fix it right when it happened. We let it linger. The consequences of that resulted in the person not wanting to even try. Now, I always try to put myself in others shoes and with this person it was no different. I analyze the situation, the person and their reaction. Although in my heart, my mind I would never pass the opportunity to forgive or ask for forgiveness, I realize that not everyone feels like me. Especially when they don’t have the Lord.
My heart hurts for my little family, for one we should of realized the damage we were creating at its early stages. Two, it hurts to know my children have to pay for our mistakes and the other persons choice.
You see, when we don’t forgive it’s plainly for a few reasons:
1) P R I D E, we don’t want to show we are “weak” and that we will stand our ground even if we’re wrong and look foolish.
2) S E L F I S H N E S S, we just simply don’t care to fix anything because it’s not our “issue”, when it is or concider the other persons heart. As long as your fine right? Let the other person rot in sadness.
3) H U R T, do I have to explain? Sometimes we don’t forgive because the pain was to much, like sexual abuse or unfaithfulness.
4) I M M A T U R I T Y, we think we know what’s good for us by not forgiving and we end up hurting our selfs more. We morn years later realizing what we did, once we mature.
There are more reasons to this list but I’ve over used all (4) of these reasons to not forgive. Maybe that’s why I came up with these four. As I get older I realize the mistakes I’ve made in my IMMATURITY. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. In the past I’ve not forgiven someone for HURTFULL reasons. Out of SELFISHNESS, I have decided my PRIDE was worth more than mending my relationships.
When we don’t forgive we drag our family down with us. We show our children that we don’t “need” to forgive. We are their example, I want my daughters to have a soft heart towards those who apologize to them. I want my daughters to be wise and build their homes on a foundation of love, gentleness, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self control. Sound framiliar? Those are the fruits of the spirit. Given by the Holy Spirit, left for us by Jesus our savior. In order for my daughter to have that foundation, I must make it mine and show it. Even with those who don’t love us or want to mend relationships.
When we don’t forgive, we inslave our selfs in a web of selfishness. I’ve heard people say ” oh I’m fine, I’m not sad”. Right, but what about the other person? The one staying up at night thinking of how they can ask for forgiveness? How they can elequently put words together in hopes that you find it poetic and forgive. How can a person live knowing this? I stay up at night, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat knowing I’ve passed the opportunity to forgive. It’s important to get out of your own world and put on the other persons burden, if you can live with it then wow… here is an award. But if you can’t , you realize it’s time to set that person free from their burden.
I pray and I have hope that one day things will change, even if it never changes I will not stop praying and I will not stop asking the Lord to soften my heart toward the person and to give me the opportunity to show his love to the person. One day our children will laught together and grow along side eachother. Until then I pray the Lord helps us.
What about you? Has God put anyone in your heart that you need to set free from their burden and forgive? Or maybe it’s the other way around and you want to be set free? I want to encourage you to do as the holy spirits calls you to do. Let us have a soft heart and strong mind to do what is right.