When helping others hurts

It was about 1:50pm with only 10 minutes until I had to rush back to pick up my girls from school and keep rushing through the day when I pulled up to a small restaurant for a quick meal. I was so hungry and my little eyes gleamed at the sight of the advertised dishes displayed at the window. My heart skipped a beat almost, maybe I’m exaggerating but none the less you get the point. I was terribly hungry. I hadn’t had breakfast that morning, I had been in a rush to get the girls to school and I had to pay many bills that required my physical being and not a quick ” click “. 
Before I go on, let’s rewind to that morning before I even decided to rush shall we? 

I woke up, I prayed to God. I prayed for him to use me for his glory. For him to give me the opportunity to preach or show the gospel to someone. I prayed for God to interupt my day with his desire. I get so use to praying this, that it was heartfelt but it didn’t really happen most the days I prayed so I didn’t think anything would happen that day either. Ok fast forward to me being super hungry and rediculous…

As I go to open the door of this little restaurant, I made eye contact with an old lady walking my way. I didn’t think anything of it really, I lock eyes with mainly everyone who passes my way and I share a smile. But, as I locked eyes with her, I felt like this old woman needed something and I was going to be the one she would ask. 

You’re thinking, yes! What you prayed for! Except I wasn’t to happy about it. I’m ashamed to share this with you. I was so hungry that when this feeling came over me, I was interrupted and I was hungry. I was upset. Here goes my meal I said in my heart. 

Me trying to find this door knobs trick to opening seemed to take forever, she was walking faster than I could open this door. Just as I had felt the old woman got closer and I couldn’t seem to find the door from this feeling overtaking my body. She finally reached me and stood what seemed two feet away from me and said, “Please, can you help me? I have an appointment with my therapist and I have no idea where it is. I can’t be late.” There were many people outside, why me?! God had interrupted my day for his desire, that’s why.

My hand found the door handle and in that moment I honestly felt upset. Not for my meal but with my self. I ask God every morning to use me for his glory, here it was and I was letting physical hunger get in the way of fulfilling my spiritual hunger. 

My heart sank to by butt. In my heart I knew I had for an instant chosen food over God. I had chosen to ignore this overwhelming spiritual feeling I had for another physical feeling that can be very demanding if not tamed. My mind seemed to have stopped and I remembered God’s word. Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. 

Now, don’t laught but Jesus had been fasting for 40 days… Ana? It felt like 40 days but nope, it was only 7 hours. Don’t laught! I really felt it was 40 days! Anyways, that verse came to mind and Philippians 3:19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. I felt I had my god, my belly. My mind was set on that delicious plate displayed with bright colors on that window. I felt God was trying to answer my “humble” prayer, and I’m over here mad he did! 

Ok, so I thought all this in a manner of minute. Now here’s the problem though, I was faced with not only one problem but two. Should I show her on a map or should I take her? If I show her I could eat, if I take her I won’t be able. 

Again, my mind races as I just wanted to point to the roundabout exit street and she could go on her way. But no. I felt to take her. That means not having lunch either. That means I wouldn’t have time to take her, come back and eat. So I closed my eyes and I remembered Matthew 5:41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. I felt forced… In a good way. So I didn’t hesitate.

I told the sweet old woman to get in her car and follow me to her appointment. So off we went and as I pulled up to her clinic, she pulled up next to me and said this, “God bless you, I really didn’t know where I was but you did. I wanted to tell you about Jesus, but I have a feeling you know him all to well”. My hunger dissapeared. No joke, just like that. We exchanged a few words about our Lord and she couldn’t find ways to express her graditure until I told her with a smile, “please, I don’t think you understand the valuable lesson I have learned today thanks to you, you don’t owe me anything”. She smiled and I waved her off as she dissapeared inside her clinic.

My stomach was empty but my spirit was filled.

What God has to offer fills us, food, would have just fed my body for a moment but this lesson filled my heart and that I can keep forever.

I left to pick up my daughters and went about my day in a different manner. I slowed down and enjoyed the day.  That night when I went to bed I came to God humbly thanking him for a full hear and spirit. I’m glad I chose to fill my spirit and not my belly for God’s sake and kingdom. I’m glad I understood the importance of this task. I’m glad I read my bible, those verses came to me so quickly I didn’t even get a chance to make more excuses. I’m glad someone saw Jesus in me. Isn’t that what we were called to do? I always encourage woman to seek God, to read scripture and to ask God to interupt the schedule for his glory and to choose him over anything the world has to offer. 

Maybe God is calling you to reconcile with a friend, maybe God is calling you to pray for your enemy, maybe he is calling you to go out of your way for his kingdom. Choose him. Trust me it is the most satisfying fullfilment you’ll ever have. And incase you’re wondering if I got to eat? I did. It wasn’t the yummy dish from the restaurant but it was food and I was ok with that.

Much love, Ana Nelson

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