I grew up in a home that involved music, everyday.
My father was a worship leader and played piano. I quickly learned to worship God in a way many people can’t, they feel “weird” raising their hands and just to be able to move. I learned there was freedom in worship. I grew up in a home where worship music was played from day to night, I loved it. Psalm 150:1-6 Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
I remember sometimes I would come home from school so devastated because my heart was heavy, I would walk through the doors and there, the sweet sound of music came through one ear and in to my heart. Ministering to me through a song my heart could never find words to express.
This reminds me of David in scripture, he is so popular and well known for his dancing, singing and worship to our God. He was able to help others with this talent too, very powerful.
Music is such a powerful thing, what he hear in our spare time can influence what takes root to our hearts and eventually how we act and speak. . Can I make it personal?
When I was about 13 I discovered “bad music”, as in music that wasn’t played at church. Like I said before, music was a HUGE part of my life and when I first heard songs that were not about God my heart felt this excitement. Like I was almost a different person. I loved music so much that I allowed it to take over my heart. Confused? Let me explain.
Many people struggle with alcohol, drugs, ect. I struggled with sexuality. When I found out I could hear sexuality not just watch it. It was this whole new world of sex and the lyrics would give me a buzz. I would listen to the lyrics and imagine them. That’s how powerful music can be for people.
I can’t speak for everyone obviously but for those of you who are like me, the love for something can sometimes destroy you. Because that love is not God.
Music gave me this invisible personality. It gave me this sense of being sexy. I would feel bad and cry to God to help but when temptation came around I would fall right back in to pornography (the age of 15 to 21) and listening to music that promoted sex (from age 13-21), bad words and things that well a child first of all should not listen too, two a child of God, my parents had no idea because I listened at school. I would borrow my friends CD player (you know huge players) to listen to music that would draw me further from God and closer to what I was planing on doing. When I got married, it went from 40 to 100 and beyond. I no longer had “rules” to stop me.
I know people will read this and say “this young lady is a crazy head, it’s not bad to listen to secular music”, well for me I found out that it was a way to rebel and fill my heart with perversion. If anyone says they have never been tempted with sexuality, I would love to speak to you and see if you even understand what God calls sexual immorality. Your defenition might not even be biblical. To me music was just another way to get my “fix”, it’s rediculous and crazy I know. But I know I’m not the only one. I know this because now that I’m older I speak to young ladies and men who indeed struggle with this. No one is above temptation but Jesus. We have the power through the beautiful Holy Spirit to say NO to that temptation but we’re not above it.
When I came to know just who Jesus really was, a desire to leave it completely, was in my heart. But it was not easy. I felt like a drug addict, I would listen to one more. That would lead to hours even days of listening to music that filled my heart with lust and desires. Then I would come back and ask for God to give me the strength to say no. That day came and I stopped saying yes to it, I kept away from it. I would purposely leave any place that had any type of music that would make my heart skip a beat. Eventually I was able to walk in to a place with it on and my heart rejected it. I had learned through the Holy Spirit that I could say no. Stay away and one day help other young people with this ridiculous war.
Maybe this is the first time you heart this, want to know why? Because no one wants to come out and say it. No one wants to be looked at like they are stupid for being chained to music … MUSIC! But for those of you reading this who know the struggle is/was real, I understand. For those of you who read this I pray that you understand that this is just as bad a porography to some. It’s not funny, might be rediculous but it’s real. I’m not a bible thumper in a sense that I will say “DEVIL MISIC AHHHHHH”, and run around like a crazy monkey. I simply saw that music was a way of sexual perversion for me. That’s why I am careful with what I let little ears hear. If you say “where in the bible does it say”, although the word sometimes isn’t specific on somethings, we read our word we get to know our fathers heart and the Holy Spirit is in change of these changes and convictions.
- 1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.
- 1 Corinthians 10:13 13 The only temptations that you have are the same temptations that all people have. But you can trust God. He will not let you be tempted more than you can bear. But when you are tempted, God will also give you a way to escape that temptation. Then you will be able to endure it.
- Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
- Romans 14:1-23 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.
- Proverbs 4:23 “Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.”
You think about what you have seen, what you say, what you do AND also what you hear.
I hope one day you are strong enough to let go of this, if you are like me. It’s possible through obedience and love for God. We are in this together and I can tell you, it’s very much possible through Christ who strengthens you!
How can I pray for you?
Love, Ana Nelson