How I learned to love myself.


Today as I write this, I know I will push many buttons and people might not even finish reading this. I thought long about writing this and I’ve come to the conclusion that we need to realize we are being fed lies as woman of God. From people who claim to love God.

On my journey to starting my blog, I had an opportunity to be a guest blogger and I was so honored. I was so happy when I received back this email from a BIG blogger, my heart grew knowing that I was noticed by this woman with a successful blog. When I received this email I wrote back right away I didn’t want to waste time. As we started having conversations via email I was asked to write on “loving myself”… I was a little confused and asked this blogger to please further explain herself  so I can understand. You see I’m a simple woman and I didn’t understand why I would have to write about such topic and to be honest it would be ONE more blog on this topic out of a million. She then went on writing to me, convincing me that we need to tell other woman of God that they are worth it, that they need to love themselves first in order to be happy … worth what? And to also give my testimony of how I came to love… Myself…

See here’s the problem. I won’t do it and I won’t say I’ll NEVER talk like this because never say never BUT I just can’t feed those lies to you. I can’t write and tell woman that they need to “love them self first, to be happy” or tell you to look in the mirror and repeat a phrase of positivity to them self so they might believe it. I just can’t. This is a HUGE movement we see in the Christian world and guess where else? The world. Aren’t we supposed to be different? Don’t we receive a way to know our worth in a different way then the world? Or do we simply copy the world and slap J e s u s on it? Here’s where I’ll lose people. Hold on tight friends. I’m not anti-love. I’m not anti-woman and I’m not anti-loving, BUT as a woman of God we CAN not accept the lie that loving ourself first will make us happy.

God gave his one and only son to die a terrible death, he was nailed on the cross, he wore a crown of thorns, he was whipped UNTIL no one recognized him… So you can love yourself first?  No. He did all that so you can have a new life in him through his son.

Your worth and love is found only when you seek God before you love yourself.

I’m not saying you have to hate yourself, that’s not it, what I’m saying is I learned to love myself, not through a mirror, a scale or telling myself this, but in Jesus Christ. Why do we always make the gospel about us? By nature we already love ourselves. We make everything about us, scripture even said it.

Ephesians 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. Without taking this out of context since there’s WAY more to this passage  I just want to point out that scripture already knows we love ourselves. Where in the Bible does it say, “I sent you to love yourself first, to seek ways to accept yourself”. No where. Instead it says:

Matthew 16:24-25  Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Scripture is saturated with our mission to love those in need, those hurting, those who are poor, our enemy, our brothers and sisters in Christ and above all else God. Friends that’s where you start finding love for you. When you focus on loving others first. 

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

It’s a terrible lie to believe, that you need to “love yourself first“. No no no. Get up, ask God to help you renew your mind, restore your broken heart and to help you see your worth IN HIM. Trust me when I say, God shows himself in you when you serve Him, through loving others first. That’s where your worth comes from. Your worth more because He died for you, not because you tell yourself you’re beautiful. Do you get it? There’s nothing wrong with telling yourself, ” hey I’m a good-looking gal”. But once that becomes your way of worth, you’re wrong and anyone preaching this or writing this lie is wrong too.

Do you want to know when I started loving myself? I still want to write a blog about my experience with plastic surgery and loving myself. But I’ll share a bit. I didn’t tell myself I was worth it, I was beautiful, I am good enough. I believed those lies and it lead me to a dead-end. The day I found my worth knowing Jesus died for me, THEN I realized, “wow, God you died for my wickedness, I deserved hell and you looked down and had mercy, I must be important to you, there must be a reason you did that, use me for your glory, restore my mind from all the ways I’m trying to gain worth. Restore my image as a woman for your glory, help me to love who you made me to be. Help me to let go of the mentality that I need to love myself because you love me more than I ever will and you proved it on that cross”. 

Two years later I can tell you that I’m standing tall, I don’t tell myself I’m worth it, I don’t tell myself I’m beautiful. I realize that the world teaches us the same thing… So why should I fall into something the world teaches? Why would I base my actions on something the world does? I don’t get it. The world teaches us: 

  • Be who you are to be happy 

Scripture says were sinful and need a savior. 

  • Do whatever you want to love yourself 

Scripture says we should have self-control and seek God because the flesh wants sinful pleasures. 

  • Love yourself first 

Scripture says in the end of days that’s all we would see…. Well well. 

  • Accept yourself 

God calls us to renounce ourself and pick up our cross. 

Why are we still pretending we don’t know who we are? We are daughters of an almighty King?! Being filth, He adopted us to be HIS, what more worth do you need to hear? If we truly know God we know that our worth was shed in blood, not phrases. 

So, after I wrote this email explaining everything I just wrote to you. The blogger called me a woman-hater. She said I don’t know scripture and that she didn’t want me to blog because I came across as judgemental and she just didn’t want “negativity” on her page. Did you know Christ calls us to REBUKE one another? At least I do and I accept it with open arms, we don’t all though.

I smiled, you know why? Because I struck a nerve. I always pray to the lord that whatever I do, that his Holy Spirit guides me and won’t let me get away with glorifying myself. That it would start with him, through him, by him and it ends with him.

You find your self-love when you love God first. When you serve others first. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. It’s a challenge because the flesh loooooooves itself so much. But the spirit is calling us to love God even more. Calling us to love others more. I leave you with this, one of the most powerful verses I’ve managed to seal in my heart.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Much Love, Ana.

About She Found Grace

Mother and wife. Lover of all things God created.
This entry was posted in Journey to Grace, Mother, Wife and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to How I learned to love myself.

  1. E says:

    Thank you Ana for this wonderful post and for standing up for the truth that is written in the Bible. Loving God really must come first, followed by loving others. Really there’s not much, or really anything, in this world that’s truly about me. It’s all about our God and our Savior and being a reflection of that love in the lives of others.

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  2. ninthhourlove says:

    GO YOU, ANA!!! I commend you greatly, as a fellow woman in Christ, for standing up for Jesus and for our faith! The body could use more like you. Please know that I’m praying for your continued boldness, and even if you lose friends over this, you have the prayers of your fellow sister-in-Christ 🙂

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Ana, I’m speechless. You have correctly handled the word of God and defended truth. When I preach to someone the gospel I would never even imagine presenting them with the false assumption of “loving yourself”. That is a lie right out of the pit. You need to reveal that he/she is dead in their sins, have a wicked heart, and is a child of wrath. Once the person realizes what sinners they are they can finally see the grace of God and hopefully go running to the cross and accept the only way to forgiveness of sins leading to eternal life. God bless you and may the Holy Spirit continue leading you to all truth.

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    • Thank you, all glory to God friend. I know I burned a BIG bridge. I know that I won’t ever be a “popular” blog and I think long ago I would of cared, but as I learn about my savior I don’t care to lose blogger friends who are famous or popular. I care more about what God has to say.

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      • Anonymous says:

        Amen all Glory to God who is forever blessed, abounding in love, merciful, forgiving, full of grace, and truth. Ana, in the bible God says that if the world hated him it will hate us also but he promises that he has overcomed the world. We know that he is faithful and keeps his promises. To love God is to obey him and he commanded us to proclaim the gospel of salvation which is the good news. You need to be prepared in season and out of season. Keep studying the word of God and peace unto you in Christ Jesus

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      • Thank you very much!

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