When we think of idols we think of material possessions, a habit or even maybe a statue of some kind.
Have you ever thought of your HUSBAND as an idol?
One day I was invited to an overnight woman’s retreat and I went, as we were sharing the things we hold so close that we idolize.. I was so shocked to hear that many women deal with idolizing.. Their Husbands. I was a bit taken back since I never thought about my husband being my personal idol but it made total sense, he’s my best friend, my husband, I slept with him, I wake up next to him, I serve him, I help him… It made sense how easily we as wife’s can make our husbands our idol. We expect our husbands to be this walking Saint who does no wrong. We put them on pedestals and when they fall, we’re devastated and sometimes it ends a marriage. I have seen it so may times, over and over again, where a wife will follow her husband to temptation just to be with him instead of being an example.
When they asked me what I held close, I felt weird saying, “pride” and not “my husband”. They just stared at me because I didn’t say my husband. Hold on, I’m not this Saint. Listen. I have never been the type to idolize my husband BECAUSE I was actually the opposite, I thought I could do anything withoutt him. That is just as bad. To me no man was worth my respect. That’s just terrible. Here I was listening to these women melt over their sin of idolizing their husband and I felt guilty. I knew though I didn’t idolize Chris I realized I didn’t give my husband respect and I learned that moment to not idolize a man but that I, too was wrong. I asked God to forgive me and help me love my husband but never allow me to love a man more than him.
We need to ask God to search our hearts and to show us if we’re making idols out of our husbands, and help us let go of the Jesus expectations out of men.
We need to let go and let God be the one who completes us because our husbands are sinners saved by grace who also need Jesus. They WILL fail us, they will disappoint us, they will hurt us (unintentionally) because they are humans just like us. We can’t put that burden on their shoulders, to be our savior. Only God can do that BUT through grace our husbands are our hearts here on earth. We need to have balance and know when we are to close to the point of sinning against God by making our husbands more than God. We need to have balance and know when we are to close to the point of sinning against God by disrespecting our husbands and thinking little of them. Let us ask God to help us balance both ideas and feelings, and to respect them, love them, help them without letting them become our idol.
Here is a little prayer I pray when I feel I am at that edge:
Jesus I need you and I was YOU to fill me, help me to love my husband and to respect him. Help my husband to follow you and seek you, help him lead us closer to you and as the leader of our home I pray in your son’s name that you fill him with grace everyday. His job isn’t easy and I want to help him, not put pressure on him to fill my voids. I want to come along his side to see you one day and not lean on him to make me happy because only you can complete me and only you can complete my husband. Give me wisdom Father in Jesus name amen.
Much love, Ana Nelson