Have you ever felt like you wish you could change your personality? I’m not talking about habits we accumulate and need to get rid of when we come to Jesus.
I’m talking about personalities.
Maybe you’re very shy and wish you could just jump for joy in the middle of a crowd and scream God’s word, or maybe you’re like me and you are loud, you talk… too much sometimes and you have no problem talking to a total stranger and you come across and “loud and annoying”. I think no matter what category we fall under we can use what he has gifted us, for his kingdom and glory.
I remember long ago, well maybe about 3 years ago to be exact I had an acquaintance who I admired so much for how sweet and tender she was. One day we were taking about God’s word and she seemed concern, she seemed troubled and I asked what was wrong, she replied with something that would haunt me for what seemed a long time.
“I really think you need to be a woman of God, you talk to much and you are always laughing loud. God warns against that kind of women.”
I was shocked and hurt to hear this but I’m the type of person that if someone points out a flaw in my personality I really consider it and pray for clarity. Those words destroyed me from the inside out as I though about ways to be holy and not well, me. She must be right I thought, after all everyone like her and she’s not a loud talker ands she clearly knows more about God so she must be right.
For the months after that event I was quieter, I tried not to laugh as much or as loud. I pretty much ran to conclusions that I was not holy enough or Christian enough with who God created me to be. I struggled so much with myself and became obsessed with wanting to be more like my acquaintance and not God UNTIL one day God made it clear to me.
We were at a park that sunny day and I sat with my acceptance taking about Jesus, as this was happening a woman arrived to the park with a sweet little boy. My acquaintance stopped talking about God as the woman leaned in closer. It seemed to appear as if she wanted to hear more or just talk. My acquaintance was quiet and didn’t even say hello to the young woman. My body started heating from the inside out, my heart started beating a million miles per hour or so it seemed and my eyes started to water as I heard a calm voice say:
” We are all created different, God gives us all many gifts and great personalities we can use for his glory. Use your loud voice to proclaim Jesus as you had, use your boldness to speak to strangers to reach those in need as you had. I’d rather you be loud and glorify my name than to be quiet to look holy and not share the gospel. “
In that moment I went up to the woman and started talking to her about her son, her pretty hair and soon after Jesus Christ. Turns out the woman was a Christian who had strayed from God and when she heard us talking she was thirty for his word but was to shy to ask for more. Imagine if I had stuck to being quiet and “holy”, I would have missed an opportunity to preach the Gospel. God uses all of us for his glory if we allow his precious Holy Spirit to guide us and not any person who claims to have it together. Always consider a fellow Christians warnings, don’t be a fool and think you know it all but remember God determines what is pleasing to him. Always get on your knees and ask God to shed light on the habits that are not worthy of him and how you can change them. Beg the lord to help you develop your personality for HIS GLORY and not your own.
I love who God made me because somehow I always manage to speak the gospel to whoever I come across when the Holy Spirit leads me to do it. ** now scripture does say that talking to much is bad because we will give account for every word we say. It also talks about the loud woman but he is taking about the adulterous, foolish woman.
I am not that woman.
Use what the Lord gave you, use it for good and for his glory. If you are going to talk let it be for his glory, if you are going to stay silent let it be to justify God. And in case you are wondering what happened with that acquaintance? She was shocked and asked me how I can do such things, I simply said ” I’m loud, I love to talk, I use it for his glory and I’m ok with who God polished me to be.”