- Listen without trying to fix it. What I mean by that is, when a man is angry or stressed or needs to talk about his day at work with his wife, do what you ladies want us to do, and JUST LISTEN, without giving your input about how to fix it, because that is not always what needs to be heard at that time, that could make it worse. What we as men are looking for here when actually begin to open up like this is some compassion and understanding because for a man to open up like this it means he really trusts you and hopes you’ll understand him. When we are calm and ready for input you’ll know and the right phrase to use is…”Would you like to hear what I have to say about this?” at that point, we as men being the brutally honest beings that we were made to be will let you know if this is a good time to give the advice. Which leads me to number 2….
- Give us time to chill out. When we are mad about something or if we just came home from the worst day we have ever had, sometimes the last thing we want to do when we walk through the door is talk about it, men are different than women, talking about it when we aren’t ready can cause more bad emotions. And since we are tied to cavemen and other primitive men like the psycho vikings, we have this substance running through our veins called testosterone (or stupid sauce) which begins to flow wildly when we get angry and causes us to do and say stupid things. So over time, since we are no longer cavemen we have learned to kind of how our inner beast at bay by what you woman call “shutting you out” but that is not at all what we are doing and I am not saying it’s ok to ignore your spouse or not talk to them, all I’m saying is God made us different from you so let us have some time and then we will talk when we’re ready. It took Ana years to learn this about me so don’t feel bad if you are just learning this now.
- Physical affection. Now, as a man, you could not have expected me to leave this part out right? This is something that God made for us as married couples and as it states in Song of Solomon we must enjoy each others bodies, I like that book of the Bible 🙂 I’m not just saying this to be perverted or to be a typical man, I’m actually being genuine, let me give you an example, the other day I came home from a bad day at the office, and didn’t want to talk at all, I took about 30-40 minutes to calm down and then I sat down with my family to talk about my day, I opened up to them and they all listened intently (except my father in-law, different blog though) and it made me feel really good to have someone there to listen to my bad day especially my wife, that night she initiated… lets call it “Love time” and it actually made me completely forget about my crappy day and focus more on how lucky I am to have such an amazing woman by my side.
So by my wife doing all 3 of these things it helped me incredibly to calm down and focus on the great blessings God has put in my life and the things I am thankful for. And ladies, I am not saying you should grovel at the feet of your man or anything like that, these things go both ways and woman actually need these things more often than men do but the reason I wrote this is to let you ladies know that men need it too. Thank you for reading and God bless you and your marriages!