I have lost my way once again. I get frustrated far to easily, I get annoyed far to much. I haven’t given my 100% to the children you have trusted me with. I’ve let technology or my laziness get more of my time. Deep down I know the right thing to do and yet I don’t do it. When my family was around I became a show off and yelled at my children so they saw I was truly the boss. I allowed others to speak to them in a manner that would break their spirit or the Dane if “toughing them up”, I’ve allowed them to hear conversations because I couldn’t tell that person that now wasn’t the time”. I’ve lost my way Lord and I hate it. What do I do now? How can I restore my Childrens hearts? Will you help me Jesus? I need you. I don’t care what other moms say, that I might be too religious, not to be too hard on myself, but I know who you have called me to be and I am nowhere near again. My children are my ministry and I have put my ministry second to many things leading me away from you. Help me to focus Lord help me to be an example help me to love them, and help them to see me with new eyes. Lord I repent, my heart aches and without you I cannot be a mother. I can be a good mother according to the world, but I cannot be a holy mother without you. I ask you once again for your mercy and your grace to lead me. I don’t want to tear my home with my own hands like the foolish woman, I want to build up my home upon your word. Lord God help me.
With this being said I must admit I’ve cared to much about reaching 2,000 followers on indtagram. (How petty) I’ve seen my obsession with reaching out to others in hopes that they can help me become this HUGE blogger or this amazing IG person and for me, all it’s done is made me in to the mother who I am not to be. It is so easy to get caught up on the stupid numbers. It’s not me, and I’ve let that get to me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to be “successful” blogger or teach 2,000 people but for right now I need a break and I’m ok with losing all my followers for not posting regularly. I need to get back to God and our relationship. To focus on what’s more important and to succeed in that I must put everything aside that should be second to my family.
Don’t get so caught up in the number of friends, don’t get so caught up on the followers, don’t get so caught up on taking nice pictures, don’t get so caught up and wanting to be famous that you lose your soul.