Have you guys ever just sat back and watched your life play out? Have you guys ever sat back and thought about how far you’ve come?
I’m that person.
I constantly sit back and remember.
When I look back at my childhood, I NEVER thought that I would be where I am.
I am an immigrant, who was lost at the border for 3 days without my parents, a child who wore the same flip flops and cut the toes to make them fit for two years. We slept in a pull out couch in a one bedroom apartment. On the floor for a few years. My dad worked 2 jobs to support us. I didn’t speak English until I was 10 and was pulled out of school to be an interpreter for my mother. My dad worked his back off to put food on the table, my mother always stayed home to care for us and cook what she could. Some days all we had to eat was eggs and green beans from a can and tortillas. Car? Forget about it! When we went grocery shopping, while pregnant my mom would push a stroller and I a cart full of groceries all the way home. Goodwill? We couldn’t afford the inside store so we shopped at the bins in the back where you buy clothes by the pound. Dentist? Nope. Dr? Nope. I wasn’t legal so I didn’t get those benefits.
It all worked out for our good.
It build character.
When I got married at 16, we lived in a basement and couldn’t afford the birth of our baby girl. Since I was still an immigrant I didn’t get health insurance through out my pregnancy. And some days we only had enough to buy boxed pasta. We applied for government assistance once and got a HUGE $7.00, no joke. Coming at 5 years of marriage we almost got divorced, by Gods grace we made it. By Gods grace we made it. By Gods grace we made it. Say it 3 times!
When I look around at my children I can’t help but feel so unworthy of it all. I can’t help but feel so overwhelmed and as I share my/ our story to our children I will never forget where I came from. I hope they don’t either.
I feel so in awe and filled with compassion for those who have gone through the same thing as we did as immigrants. Or the same things we did as a young married couple about to have a baby. When I see a little Hispanic child translating for her parents. When I see a mom pushing a stroller and a shopping cart to her house. It all touches my heart.
I’ll tell you what? I didn’t do a thing to make my life work out… I’ve made so many mistakes and God has always pulled me out and hugged me.
So when people assume Chris and I have always been “well off” whatever that means. No we haven’t.
When people assumed that I came from a middle class family because of how I turned out (thank you Jesus) I didn’t.
We all go through hard times and then have to realize that it’s life. How we react to it determines our ending point many times. Prayer and the mind are two powerful things.
God is the only reason why we can make it through the pain and the hurt. He’s the only reason why I can even remotely make it in life. I’ve tried life without him and it was terrible!
I never want to forget that little girl who was me.
I never want to forget my parents hard work.
I especially never want to forget God.
I honestly don’t know why I’m sharing this but I felt the need to share it.
Whatever you’re going through just know that Jesus is good. Bad things happen in life; some bad things happen because of the choices we make and reap the consequences but others just happen because we are human. Regardless of it was a bad choice it put humanness, God is the answer always! He will always want you. He will always forgive you if you repent, he will always give you the strength and wisdom of you ask for it.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good.