Have you heard “Reckless love of God?”. Here’s my version.


I was in the car with my children on our way to music school, when the radio played a certain song that’s pretty popular right now and for good reason.

Have you heard “Reckless love” by Cory Asbury? It just broke me in to a million pieces. I tried to hide it so my children wouldn’t see the tears running down my face but it was pointless. They saw my humanness in its softest form as the Holy Spirit worked and helped me.

Just that morning I had asked the Lord to heal my heart and to help me with sins I have been struggling with and I felt so unworthy of his forgiveness and love that I completely stopped praying and felt I just couldn’t keep praying. So I got up and went on with my day. My heart was so heavy and felt like I have just messed up so many times that I know he’s mad at me for just not getting it together. I mean… I know better. I still sinned against him and act a fool, how on earth can he still want me?

So I finished homeschool and the time went by, we climbed in to the van and headed to music school when that song came on it just so happen that my youngest stopped crying in the back seat and my two girls stopped talking and stayed quiet so I was able to listen to the song for the first time.

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me

You have been so, so good to me

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so good to me

When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me

You have been so, so kind to me

And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

My heart, filled with emotions stirred within my soul, like a hurricane passing through a thin valley ripping apart my insensitive heart at its root.

He left the 99… for me. For you. For us. His love is just that overwhelming making us feel so undeserving because well, we don’t deserve it and yet he left those 99 for you and me.

Wanna know what I was struggling with? The sin that I’ve had in my heart and that I work on? That I hope with every part of me I can over come with the help of God?

Insensitiveness and a lack of sympathy for those who I think have small problems.

Who am I to say what’s small and what a really a problem? No one, that’s who. Where was I when God declared the heavens and the earth that I feel I get to call what’s a reason for anxiety and what’s not? We all struggle and just because I don’t get easily overwhelmed doesn’t mean others don’t and that their reasonings aren’t valid.

It’s such an ugly thing to deal with. Having a hard heart.

I would like to think that I’m an, ok human. But I’m not a human with gentleness or kindness when I feel people are complaining over situations I called “not important”. It’s ugly and it’s not where the Holy Spirit dwells, it’s a place he needs to work on and that’s where I have been for years .. on and off. Like God’s people in the Old Testament.

Loving God being “nice” and then giving my back on him when I get to confident in my human ability to be a good persons. When I get to confident that is when I fail the hardest and when the fall comes from my pride that brings me down to hurting, but thankful humility.

The truth is, I’ll never deserve him love. I’ll never be worthy of it and he still left the 99.

That broke my hard heart and I felt for the first time in a while (since I’m on and off with this sin) my heart soften and my tears flowed from my sorry eyes. I allowed the Holy Spirit to touch my heart and I heard a whisper in my heart:

There’s nothing you will ever do that will separate us, come to me. Rest at my feet. Bring your heart and I’ll make it New. You can’t do it without me because you know you’ll fail. I love you. Yes I really do. And you are free from your sin but you must choose me first before yourself every single day. My overwhelming love, it’s yours. I left the 99″.

I don’t want to struggle all my life with this and I pray the Lord continually reminds me that I’m no one without him. That he still loves me. That I CAN AND I WILL in Jesus name become the woman he’s made me to be. That I will be gentle and softhearted.

I don’t know where you are in your walk with God, or if you even know him. Know this, there’s nothing you will ever do that he won’t forgive, it’s never to late, he’s always available. He loves you, he wants to show you what real love is, what forgiveness feels like. What true love really is.

So as I write this in the parking lot of music school, trying to see clear through my glasses and tears in my eyes I want you to know that you’re not alone and he does in deed love you. So much that in his overwhelming love, he left the 99 for you.

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About She Found Grace

J E S U S Wife & homeschool Mama Saved by grace Encouraging women to love their calling Lover of natural living
This entry was posted in Journey to Grace and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Have you heard “Reckless love of God?”. Here’s my version.

  1. Sha’la Hill says:

    This was absolutely everything I needed to go on with my day. Every single word was pure & I appreciate you for showing your heart. Thank you sooo much. I truly enjoy your blogs. God bless you & your family! 💛

    Like

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