Quietness can be dangerous and why my wall color was ugly


Winter is upon us here and today was super uneventful and quiet.

I appreciate the quietness of life because it’s so loud at times. Not as in loud noises that travel through your ears but as in the noise of the world. The demands and all that stuff that overwhelms us.

I put Desmond to sleep and both girls cuddled up next to each other to read their books… Instead of using that time for good and to cuddle my girls, I started thinking about all that was wrong in my life.

I’m going to get real here.

I was thinking about money, I was thinking about, “if only I would have done _________.”

All in a matter of what seemed minutes my mind was rapidly falling in to a state of sadness. Truly there was no reason for it.. but because my mind wasn’t occupied I let it stroll to “sad world.”

Thinking about all that I had messed up on, what I COULD have done to help financially.

What I COULD do.

How my wall color is ugly .. yeah seriously.

Down to how unmatched my dishes were.

So ridiculous.

How I didn’t have this, or that.

Though never comparing to anyone, I simply was missing the happy here.

Everything was wrong, even my chickens. Yes.. I know.

And I cried, like a person without sense.

I then realized that the quiet can be good and bad depending on how you use that time. I chose to dwell on the things that truly didn’t matter. I allowed my time to be wasted by all that I though mattered. None of it did. But somehow I ended up in a place of sadness while I rocked in my chair, in a warm house with a good roof, in a home that lacks nothing. In a place that’s filled with my children. In a home we call our own. In a place that God somehow provides for us every month. I was healthy, I was wearing clothing. I was alive!

It’s crazy how much power our mind has.

I quickly remembered: The apostle Paul said, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8)

God is so smart. He knew the power of our minds and gave us this!

He k ew we were capable of putting ourselves in a sad position and even depression. So I thank him for his word. For everything.

Sure my wall color isn’t what I’d like but I have walls don’t I? Check!

Next time your mind tries put you in a place of sadness remember to think on all that is true, all that is noble, all that is right, all that is pure, all that is lovely, all that is admirable, and think on those things.

Don’t let that quiet be used for ridiculous things like I did. Instead use that to glorify God!

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About She Found Grace

J E S U S Wife & homeschool Mama Saved by grace Encouraging women to love their calling Lover of natural living
This entry was posted in Journey to Grace, Mother and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Quietness can be dangerous and why my wall color was ugly

  1. Emily says:

    This is such a good post!
    I never thought about it, but I do that too – letting my mind wander through the mountains of discontent when I have moments of quiet.
    Thank you for the reminder of what we should dwell on in our thoughts.

    Like

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