Today my oldest daughter who is 11 learned a lesson. A lesson I didn’t want her to learn to quickly. Though life is tough and I’m all about not raising a child who drowns in the murky puddles of life…. Sometimes it’s sad watching them learn.
I’m the type of friend who’s door is always open, who will drop what I can to meet up with you last minute. You don’t have to plan a date with me months in advance. I will reach out to set that playdate because the friend hadn’t texted me like she said she would. I’m the friend who’s kids do ask where so and so went. I’m the friend who, if you allow, WILL make sure we get a chance to actually talk to each other and build a friendship.
People like me, get rejected alot. That means my children get rejected too. No one thinks about us. The friends who actually WANT to build that friendship that seemed to be wanted by the other person but never took action. Everyone thinks about the friend who isn’t extroverted, who is shy to reach out. That’s fine. It’s ok. But for that friend, maybe you should think about the other person. Just a little.
When I meet a mom with kids and my kids make friends with theirs, and they hear the mom saying we should hang out again, they get excited. The average social child does. I get excited. Except we don’t. And that’s fine, but we need to start being honest.
I get that not all mom’s like to reach out but it takes 2 minutes to message that mom back when she asks when a good day to hangout is.
Just be honest.
Or if you do want to hangout, make it a habit to actually let her know. Takes 2 minutes.
I don’t let my kids know when we have a playdate until the day of because I’ve been rejected for so long that I don’t want them to feel it. Though in life they will get rejected and they need to toughen up, I choose to not expose them to that reject. Not yet.
To the mom who said she would plan a play date in front of my kid,
Don’t say you’ll text me to plan a date if you really don’t want to. It’s ok to say it.
Don’t say you’ll text me to plan a playdate in front of my child who took a liking to your child if you won’t fall through. You don’t owe me anything but a child won’t understand well why that lady never messaged me back about a play date.
Spare me the 45,678 times my kids ask if you’ve messaged me back. Trust me, I tell them to stop too.
Don’t pretend to want to hangout. Literally, spare us both. Be honest.
I’m a woman of my word, my no means no and my yes means yes. Please, just be honest.
Are you to shy? Let me know you will need a little text or push. Be honest.
You’re an introvert? Nothing wrong with that. Tell me, you plan the date so you’re comfortable. I’m flexible that way. Be honest.
My kids only know the way I am, so to them if someone says yes, it’s yes. They will learn with time that not everyone is like their mother. Im teaching them to be that friend who’s there asking the playdate question. I’m teaching them that if they fall in the category of the other shy friend, to speak up. To be honest. To learn to communicate.
Us, the ones seeking you out have feelings too.
If you’re not interested because I’m not your cup of tea, just tell me. Literally. Be honest.
Sure you don’t have to let me know anything, you don’t owe me or my kids a single explanation. Shoot you don’t even HAVE to make the time to text me back but we have feelings too.
Plus I’m the type to stay up late wondering what I did wrong. Spare me. Be honest.
This is for all the moms who are like me. There’s nothing wrong with you. Keep seeking out, reaching out. Just don’t tell your kids about that playdate until it’s happening.
So while my daughter wonders why her friend can’t play, even though I’ve texted her mom a few times, consider us mom’s on the other side.